WRITING PROGRESS

HE CAME FOR ME

BOOK ONE IN THE PROTECTOR SERIES

http://www.amazon.com/He-Came-Book-One-Protector/dp/1447875591/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1422879701&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=he+came+for+me+book+one+in+the+protector+serieshttps://www.smashwords.com/books/view/82996
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/he-came-for-me-book-one-in-the-protector-series-c.-m.-brown/1113030642?ean=2940011475573

HE CAME FOR MINE

 BOOK TWO IN THE PROTECTOR SERIES

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/82996         http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/he-came-for-mine?keyword=he+came+for+mine&store=ebook




Monday, 20 February 2012

First Challenge from Rachel for The Fourth Platform Building Campaign

Rach asks for Campaigner's to " write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count."

For more of a challenge, you can do one or more of these:

·         end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)

·         include the word "orange" in the story

·         write in the same genre you normally  
        write

·         make your story 200 words exactly!
Here is my short Fantasy story inspired by this
artwork (unknown artist):




SLATER
by C.M. Brown
Shadows crept across the wall as the room swam and the figures in front of me merged and swirled into one.   I felt as if I would not be able to stand up straight for long. The orange tablet they had made me swallow was taking effect and my mind was beginning to become foggy and unfocused.  I knew I was in trouble when I felt my heart beat faster and droplets of sweat formed upon my skin!
Slater walked into the room, I knew it was him even though my senses had begun to wane.  The others in the room parted as he strode in, giving him a wide berth to move towards me.  I did not expect him to hit me, but he did, with the full force of his giant fist smashing into my cheek bone, sending me down towards the floor.
Droplets of blood escaped from my mouth, dripping down my chin, but I was unable to wipe them off as my hands were bound behind my back.  I tried to gain some composure as I struggled to stand again, defiantly looking my once vampire lover in the eyes.  He hit me again and everything faded……..
(200 Words)

67 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

The jerk!
And at first I read orange tabby instead of orange tablet. Thought that sounded painful!

Morgan said...

Holy dramatic! Great work here, C.M... Nice adding the "orange" tablet and finishing with "everything faded" Very fun :D

Jess said...

Whoa that was intense! Loved it!! Great job!

I'm entry #19

Bess Weatherby said...

Whoa! I want to know more!

David P. King said...

Poor girl is taking a beating. Cold and ruthless vampires. Everyone should carry a little wooden stake with them, just in case. Nice one! :)

Krista M said...

Oooh, very intense scene! Great job!

Carrie Butler said...

Ow! I want to know what happened. Great work! :)

C.M.Brown said...

Yes, I will agree with you. I think I had a bit of pent up anger inside left over from work!

C.M.Brown said...

Thankyou for the positive comments, Morgan, Jess, Bess, David, Krista and Carrie! I read David's entry last night and thought it was good too! I will try to read more entries when I get home from work. Unfortunately blogging is blocked at my work site! Bummer!

Samantha said...

This is great! I kind of want to punch the guy. Really hard :D My entry is #31.

Samantha
Writing Through College

M Pax said...

Very seamless and fluid use of the word prompts. I loved this passage.

Ann Cory said...

Oh I was sucked right into this! I want more!! Nice job :)

Kevin Hiatt said...

Oooh.. love and betrayal, prefect recipe for a great read. Nicely done.

Lynda R Young said...

Oh my, that was intense. Well done.
New follower.

Margo Kelly said...

YIKES! Great piece. :) I'm a new follower from the campaign. Nice to meet you!

Ashley Nixon said...

Oh! Didn't expect the vampire part!! But I was hoping this was supernatural, it had that feel! Great job!

JEFritz said...

I like it! It's intense and fun and ends on such a cliff hanger. I like the picture, too. It's easy to see how it influenced you.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Looks like I may have landed in a gold mine. Thanks for following me, CM, so I could discover your blog and do the same.

C.M.Brown said...

Thanks for the support:
Lynda R Young
Ashley Nixon
Jefritz
Rawknrobyn
I am glad you enjoyed it! Welcome to my site, it is nice to meet you all!

Li said...

I haven't the time to fully commit to the Platform, so I haven't joined, but I'm having a great time reading the various offerings - especially from this particular challenge! Lots of spooky stories :-) Well done, especially hitting the 200 word mark!

Sherri Lackey said...

Whoa! I want more! What happens next? Great scene!

bridgetstraub.com said...

Well that wasn't nice of him at all, was it? I want to hear more about their history. Mine is #71

AveryMarsh said...

Okay, I officially hate Slater. I wanted to jump through the screen and punch him right in his stupid face. So, great job evoking emotions. :)

C.M.Brown said...

Samantha, M Pax, Ann and Kevin thankyou, I welcome the comments and support!

C.M.Brown said...

Li - it is great to hear so many people are reading the stories posted for the Challenge. The writer's involved seem to be part of a very supportive, positive community! This is my first challenge and I am impressed!

C.M.Brown said...

Sherri
Bridgetstraub.com
AveryMarsh
Thanyou for the support, with all this response to Slater, I might look into expanding the story into a book! I will see what happens!

Charmaine Clancy said...

She really needs better taste in men! Good potential for a YA novel here.
#83

Siv Maria said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Laurie Buchanan said...

I hope there's a silver bullet with Slater's name on it! GREAT job!

Laurie Buchanan (entry #92)

alexia said...

Uh, she better get some revenge. Revenge is always good :)

Gwen said...

I smell history! And I would love to know it all ^_^ Great story.

#109

C.M.Brown said...

Charmain Clancy
Siv Maria
Laurie Buchanan
Alexia
He does seem to have a nasty streak, doesn't he? I just might have to ponder on why he wants to take his anger out on her so violently!

C.M.Brown said...

Gwen, I think after all this interest and positive comments, I might investigate the story further. It might take a few years to develop, but keep an eye out!

Komal said...

This was such a powerful scene. A little sinister too. I like the paranormal twist in it. Great job!

digillette said...

Ouch! Painful! Great writing!

Melanie Fowler said...

What can I say that's different than everyone else. I loved the story, great twist. Well done.

Traci Kenworth said...

I liked your ending. I wonder what she did/he thinks...

C.M.Brown said...

Komal - once again congrats on reaching a milestone, I am right behind you!
Thankyou Digillette, Melanie and Traci - your comments are appreciated!

Stuart Nager said...

Darn Vampires!! Nicely written.

#58, Tale Spinning

Nick Wilford said...

You set the scene very well. Great rhythm to this. Well done! :)

Carrie said...

Wow! Powerful and well written! Nice job.

Cortney Pearson said...

This is one of my favorites so far! If I was a judge I'd pick yours, lol! Very descriptive, colorful writing. I was right there in this scene the whole time, and I want more!! :D

Doreen McGettigan said...

Wow..so many questions..Good Job!!

C.M.Brown said...

Stuart
Nick
Carrie
Cortney
Dooreen
Thankyou all for leaving a comment! Nick I just read your entry and enjoyed the twist!Well done!

T.D. McFrost said...

Slater is a pussy! You never hit a woman!

This evoked anger from me and that is not easy. Well done and hi from a fellow campaigner.

I like the diva pose in your avatar. Work it! :D

Nancy Thompson said...

Brutal and intense. Very well done. Just my kind of thing.

#96

Rachel Morgan said...

I wonder what she did to wind up drugged, tied up, and with her ex-boyfriend ready to knock her out...

Colleen Chen said...

Intriguing! And nicely done. Now I want to know what happened before and after!!

Rek said...

That was a brutal scene well captured. I enjoyed it. (can I say that?)

C.M.Brown said...

Good boy! Glad to hear it!

C.M.Brown said...

Nancy, Colleen and Rek I am glad I was able to evoke your interest! Thanks. Rachel I will have to think about your question, at the moment I have no idea!

Laurie Dennison said...

I love the use of orange as a pill; it reminded me of Matched. I just became your 100th follower!

C.M.Brown said...

Nice to meet you Laurie, and thanks for following. I have replied to your email and for being my 100th follower, I have sent you a coupon to receive a copy of my book in an eBook format of your choice, for free!

Honey said...

Wow! That was good, and very intense. I'm joining your blog and thanks for your encouraging words on mine:) I'm going to head over and hit the like button too.

Ainsley Shay said...

As a vampire fan - how could i not have liked it!!! Sounds like there's a lot more to go along with this. Nice job.

C.M.Brown said...

Thankyou for the vote Honey, and welcome to my blog! Thanks for becoming a new follower!

C.M.Brown said...

I am glad that you liked it Ainsley! I believe I might look at delving deeper into this idea. It seems to interest people.

Deniz Bevan said...

Very powerful. Love the sense of backstory, and I really wonder what'll happen next.

Treelight said...

Oh, I liked that one! Very well written and with a nice twist.

C.M.Brown said...

Thankyou Treelight, glad you liked it!

C.M.Brown said...

Thanks Deniz, I might just look into it!

Melissa said...

Great entry. Very nice twist. Ouch.

Melissa Maygrove #149.

C.M.Brown said...

Thankyou Melissa!

Fairview said...

very powerful imagery. I definitely want to know more about the relationship. Great way to hook a reader. Good job!

Cynthia said...

Thank you for sharing. I hope the narrator has a chance to fight back and give Slater a taste of his own medicine.

C.M.Brown said...

Thanks for dropping by and commenting Fairview and Cynthia.

Jennifer McMurrain said...

Great read, intense and creepy... very well done.

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THE PROTECTOR SERIES ON GOODREADS

C.M. Brown's books on Goodreads
He Came For Me He Came For Me (The Protector, #1)
reviews: 19
ratings: 20 (avg rating 3.30)

He Came for Mine He Came for Mine (The Protector, #2)
reviews: 2
ratings: 3 (avg rating 3.67)