For more of a challenge, you can
do one or more of these:
·
end the story with the words: "everything
faded." (also included in the word count)
·
include the word "orange" in the story
·
write in the same genre you normally
write
·
make your story 200 words exactly!
Here is my short Fantasy story inspired by this artwork (unknown artist):
SLATER
by C.M. Brown
Shadows
crept across the wall as the room swam and the figures in front of me merged and
swirled into one. I felt as if I would not be able to stand up
straight for long. The orange tablet they had made me swallow was taking effect
and my mind was beginning to become foggy and unfocused. I knew I was in trouble when I felt my heart
beat faster and droplets of sweat formed upon my skin!
Slater
walked into the room, I knew it was him even though my senses had begun to
wane. The others in the room parted as
he strode in, giving him a wide berth to move towards me. I did not expect him to hit me, but he did,
with the full force of his giant fist smashing into my cheek bone, sending me
down towards the floor.
Droplets of
blood escaped from my mouth, dripping down my chin, but I was unable to wipe
them off as my hands were bound behind my back.
I tried to gain some composure as I struggled to stand again, defiantly looking
my once vampire lover in the eyes. He
hit me again and everything faded……..
(200 Words)
65 comments:
The jerk!
And at first I read orange tabby instead of orange tablet. Thought that sounded painful!
Holy dramatic! Great work here, C.M... Nice adding the "orange" tablet and finishing with "everything faded" Very fun :D
Whoa that was intense! Loved it!! Great job!
I'm entry #19
Whoa! I want to know more!
Poor girl is taking a beating. Cold and ruthless vampires. Everyone should carry a little wooden stake with them, just in case. Nice one! :)
Oooh, very intense scene! Great job!
Ow! I want to know what happened. Great work! :)
Yes, I will agree with you. I think I had a bit of pent up anger inside left over from work!
Thankyou for the positive comments, Morgan, Jess, Bess, David, Krista and Carrie! I read David's entry last night and thought it was good too! I will try to read more entries when I get home from work. Unfortunately blogging is blocked at my work site! Bummer!
This is great! I kind of want to punch the guy. Really hard :D My entry is #31.
Samantha
Writing Through College
Very seamless and fluid use of the word prompts. I loved this passage.
Oh I was sucked right into this! I want more!! Nice job :)
Oooh.. love and betrayal, prefect recipe for a great read. Nicely done.
Oh my, that was intense. Well done.
New follower.
YIKES! Great piece. :) I'm a new follower from the campaign. Nice to meet you!
Oh! Didn't expect the vampire part!! But I was hoping this was supernatural, it had that feel! Great job!
I like it! It's intense and fun and ends on such a cliff hanger. I like the picture, too. It's easy to see how it influenced you.
Looks like I may have landed in a gold mine. Thanks for following me, CM, so I could discover your blog and do the same.
Thanks for the support:
Lynda R Young
Ashley Nixon
Jefritz
Rawknrobyn
I am glad you enjoyed it! Welcome to my site, it is nice to meet you all!
I haven't the time to fully commit to the Platform, so I haven't joined, but I'm having a great time reading the various offerings - especially from this particular challenge! Lots of spooky stories :-) Well done, especially hitting the 200 word mark!
Whoa! I want more! What happens next? Great scene!
Well that wasn't nice of him at all, was it? I want to hear more about their history. Mine is #71
Samantha, M Pax, Ann and Kevin thankyou, I welcome the comments and support!
Li - it is great to hear so many people are reading the stories posted for the Challenge. The writer's involved seem to be part of a very supportive, positive community! This is my first challenge and I am impressed!
Sherri
Bridgetstraub.com
AveryMarsh
Thanyou for the support, with all this response to Slater, I might look into expanding the story into a book! I will see what happens!
She really needs better taste in men! Good potential for a YA novel here.
#83
I hope there's a silver bullet with Slater's name on it! GREAT job!
Laurie Buchanan (entry #92)
Uh, she better get some revenge. Revenge is always good :)
I smell history! And I would love to know it all ^_^ Great story.
#109
Charmain Clancy
Siv Maria
Laurie Buchanan
Alexia
He does seem to have a nasty streak, doesn't he? I just might have to ponder on why he wants to take his anger out on her so violently!
Gwen, I think after all this interest and positive comments, I might investigate the story further. It might take a few years to develop, but keep an eye out!
This was such a powerful scene. A little sinister too. I like the paranormal twist in it. Great job!
Ouch! Painful! Great writing!
What can I say that's different than everyone else. I loved the story, great twist. Well done.
I liked your ending. I wonder what she did/he thinks...
Komal - once again congrats on reaching a milestone, I am right behind you!
Thankyou Digillette, Melanie and Traci - your comments are appreciated!
You set the scene very well. Great rhythm to this. Well done! :)
Wow! Powerful and well written! Nice job.
This is one of my favorites so far! If I was a judge I'd pick yours, lol! Very descriptive, colorful writing. I was right there in this scene the whole time, and I want more!! :D
Wow..so many questions..Good Job!!
Stuart
Nick
Carrie
Cortney
Dooreen
Thankyou all for leaving a comment! Nick I just read your entry and enjoyed the twist!Well done!
Slater is a pussy! You never hit a woman!
This evoked anger from me and that is not easy. Well done and hi from a fellow campaigner.
I like the diva pose in your avatar. Work it! :D
Brutal and intense. Very well done. Just my kind of thing.
#96
I wonder what she did to wind up drugged, tied up, and with her ex-boyfriend ready to knock her out...
Intriguing! And nicely done. Now I want to know what happened before and after!!
That was a brutal scene well captured. I enjoyed it. (can I say that?)
Good boy! Glad to hear it!
Nancy, Colleen and Rek I am glad I was able to evoke your interest! Thanks. Rachel I will have to think about your question, at the moment I have no idea!
I love the use of orange as a pill; it reminded me of Matched. I just became your 100th follower!
Nice to meet you Laurie, and thanks for following. I have replied to your email and for being my 100th follower, I have sent you a coupon to receive a copy of my book in an eBook format of your choice, for free!
Wow! That was good, and very intense. I'm joining your blog and thanks for your encouraging words on mine:) I'm going to head over and hit the like button too.
As a vampire fan - how could i not have liked it!!! Sounds like there's a lot more to go along with this. Nice job.
Thankyou for the vote Honey, and welcome to my blog! Thanks for becoming a new follower!
I am glad that you liked it Ainsley! I believe I might look at delving deeper into this idea. It seems to interest people.
Very powerful. Love the sense of backstory, and I really wonder what'll happen next.
Oh, I liked that one! Very well written and with a nice twist.
Thankyou Treelight, glad you liked it!
Thanks Deniz, I might just look into it!
Great entry. Very nice twist. Ouch.
Melissa Maygrove #149.
Thankyou Melissa!
very powerful imagery. I definitely want to know more about the relationship. Great way to hook a reader. Good job!
Thank you for sharing. I hope the narrator has a chance to fight back and give Slater a taste of his own medicine.
Thanks for dropping by and commenting Fairview and Cynthia.
Great read, intense and creepy... very well done.
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