A to Z Team [2014]
Arlee Bird: Tossing it OutAlex J. Cavanaugh: Alex J. Cavanaugh
Stephen Tremp: Author Stephen Tremp
Tina Downey: Life is Good
Damyanti Biswas: Amlokiblogs
Jeremy Hawkins: [Being Retro]
Nicole Ayers: The Madlab Post
M. J. Joachim: M. J. Joachim's Writing Tips
Heather M. Gardner: The Waiting is the Hardest Part
AJ Lauer: Naturally Sweet
Pam Margolis: An Unconventional Librarian
"J" is today's letter, almost halfway through the challenge!
Two characters from "Forces of Mist" have names starting with the letter "J" - Jackson (The Mist Warrior) and Jennings (a resistance fighter), so this letter was an easy task to complete.
Oh, and I need to express a language warning in this excerpt! Please don't be offended, it is used with the intent of showing the personality of the character using the offending language.
Jennings was more cautious, hesitantly making his way towards her, not taking his eyes from Jackson, who still stood at the entrance of the cave.
Sarah gestured for Jackson to join them and he showed one of his abilities, by transporting instantly to her side.
“Jackson, this is Jennings and Roberts, we have been sent to find what your troops are organising up this way and why the sudden movement.”
“What the fuck are you doing?” Roberts yelled at Sarah and pushed her abruptly in the shoulder, in an aggressive, tactless manner, forcing her to stumble a few steps backwards.
Jackson immediately intervened, engulfing Roberts within his tentacles of mist, slamming him into the cave wall.
Jennings ran over to his companion, checking if he was seriously hurt, then looked at Sarah, “Care to explain?”
Sarah took a deep breath, “Jackson here,” she gestured towards him, “is on our side. He works under cover and relays messages to the commander. He has been a vital link in our survival so far.” She smiled at Jackson and took his hand in hers, before continuing.
“That’s bullshit! I bet you are in cahoots with this arsehole and this is some cock and bull story to keep us off your arse!” Roberts closed in on Sarah again and stood face to face with her, towering over her in an intimidating stance, not caring about the threat of Jackson, hovering nearby.
She stood her ground, not giving into his anger and ignoring his outburst, “Jennings, please remove Roberts from my personal space and ensure he calms down. Try to instil some reason into him. We are still a team on a mission and if you are unable to convince him of this, let me know.” She glared at Roberts as Jennings pulled him away, taking him to the other side of the cave to try and talk some sense into the man.
9 comments:
Good excerpt--shows a lot of character development. :-)
I was right!!
Nice read. Thanks for sharing :)
nice bit of conflict there :D
No need to apologize for the language--it lends itself to this scene quite nicely. I love all of the reactions you have here--aggression, skepticism, protectiveness--and the reflexivity with which your characters engage. Once again, a gem!
Just wanted to let you know what my old monitor did not allow me to read the top portion, where the text was in black. The rest was fine. It's a little difficult to come in the middle of a story. Still, the characters are interesting and made me wonder about their situation.
Thanks everyone for your comments, I am so glad you are still enjoying the excerpts I am posting. I have replied to each one of you by email. I hope you are all enjoying the challenge as much as I am.
Jennings is a splendid name: apologies for pointing out a typo but shouldn't Roberts be removed from personal space rather than personnel space..? Feels a bit rude to mention it but having just got home from work to find a sesame seed visibly lodged in my teeth I am inclined to be a mentioner! :-)
Lisa at Wishbone Soup Cures Everything
Oh, interesting development.
~Patricia Lynne~
Story Dam
Patricia Lynne, YA Author
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