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Thursday 19 July 2012


Maude's Inevitable End!


Carolyn Brown

 A 400+ word Flash Fiction set in ancient times on a planet similar to Earth. The castle 'Maude' desperately endeavours to fend off their attackers, but unfortunately to no avail.This story is what played out through one man's eyes.

I can remember the gleam of the sword as it was raised above my assailants head, just before he struck down.  Its brilliant shine had mesmerized me and I had found myself, for those few short moments, captured by its beauty.  Unfortunately, that was all it took for my attacker to strike me down....

We had battled furiously for many hours fending off this interminable foe, who had broken through the fortress wall and stormed our barricades.

Overpowered by their sheer force and number, we had succumbed to their might.  Everyone, was fighting for their lives.  As I had tried to fend off my opposition, I noticed that even the women living under our protection here in Maude, had taken up arms and were also fighting our foe!  The children were helping in their own way too, by lending a hand.  They were tripping our enemy at any opportunity from hidden vantage points under carts and walls.

For one split second, I had been amused by a woman throwing a bucket full of some unknown waste, down from an upper story window, covering several of the enemy with filth, as the battle pressed on.

These images and more had passed before me as if I was watching them unfold in slow motion. Then I too, like my comrades before me,was overcome by the pain of my wound and I had collapsed slowly to the ground, adding to the crumpled heap.

I had lost count of the number I had struck down, but still they came.  The lines of soldiers continued to pour through the broken gates, in an endless stream.  I knew we would be overtaken by this strong opponent, but none of my fellow kinsmen would give up and allow them to take us without a fight!  

Fallen bodies, blood and guts lined the courtyard until it had become hard to move freely to fight, without stumbling over a corpse. Now, with my fall, I would be joining the mounting pile.

As I gritted my teeth, awaiting the impact of my body to hit the ground I heard a large explosion ring out around me, and I knew this battle was now lost to not just me, but also my kinsmen!

The last thing I saw was the brightness of the light, the last thing I heard were the screams of the fallen, then my eyes fluttered and closed shut for the very last time and a gentle peace overcame me!


M Pax said...

Nice juxtaposition at the end of peace with all the violence.

Ciara said...

Sad, but well written. I'm glad violence was replaced by peace.

Writer Pat Newcombe said...

Gritty stuff! well written and I like the end too.

Steve Green said...

At least this warrior died knowing he had done as much as he could.

The story very much reminded me of one of those epic battles from The Lord Of The Rings movies.

Denise Covey said...

Love this C.M. It could follow on my introduction! Thanks for visiting. I haven't posted for FF for some time, but thought my story suited the bill this week.

I followed you so I'll be back!

Unknown said...

Thanks for stopping by Ciara.

Unknown said...

Thank you Pat and welcome to my site.

Unknown said...

Yeah, I suppose it did a bit, but I wasn't thinking of it at the time.

Unknown said...

Thanks for returning my visit and welcome!

Elise Fallson said...

The ending is sad, but it is as it should be. Nicely done.

Helen A. Howell said...

You capture the hopelessness of the situation in this piece, and the will to fight even to the death. I enjoyed it. But it makes me wonder about this world now, and has piqued my curiosity. ^_^

Anonymous said...

Great battle scene with a sad ending. Good job.

Angela Brown said...

It isn't often that we read about the not-so-happy-ending. This one falls under that category. Someone usually has to lose, and your description of this loss from one fighter's perspective is haunting and beautiful.

Sylvia said...

I truly loved the glimpse of the fighter's heart. I truly believe that even though it seems hopeless, fighters keep on fighting.

Unknown said...

Thanks Elise.

Unknown said...

Thanks for this lovely comment Helen. I have no background to give you of this world, I sat and wrote this piece during the week, expecially for the Friday Flash.

Unknown said...

Thanks Medeia.

Unknown said...

Thanks Angela, that is a really inspiring comment.

Unknown said...

Thank you for they comment Sylvia.

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C.M. Brown's books on Goodreads
He Came For Me He Came For Me (The Protector, #1)
reviews: 19
ratings: 20 (avg rating 3.30)

He Came for Mine He Came for Mine (The Protector, #2)
reviews: 2
ratings: 3 (avg rating 3.67)